Feed the Fire, 1991

by marLene

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about

This was part of my thesis for the M.A. in Women's Studies from Antioch University. Thesis concert was held March 25, 1991 at New College of California , 777 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA.

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released March 1, 1991

All songs written by marLene.

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about

the marlenes San Francisco, California

THE MARLENES is a San Francisco Bay Area band performing original, conscious music rooted in rock with injections of reggae, folk, Latin rock... marLene writes the songs, sings and plays guitar & ukulele. Elaine is on bass & vocals.

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Track Name: Samantha
Samantha © 1991 Marlene

Samantha is running down by the ocean
her mother catches her there
She’s punished for running ahead by herself
she don’t understand
All that she knows is the pain of the slap and the
anger in her mother’s voice
And she’s made to feel shame
She’s made to feel fear
She’s made to feel that she isn’t worth anything

And she learns at a young age not to reach out
She learns to hold in desire
And she learns to be an obedient girl
and distrust her natural self

Samantha is growing, all arms and legs
Now she plays in the sand
building sandcastles with walls to withstand
ocean waves
She cries when they’re broken
dad laughs at his game
she's punished for crying
And she’s made to feel shame
She’s made to feel fear
She’s made to feel that
she isn’t worth anything

And she learns at a young age not to cry out
She learns to hold in her sorrow
And she learns to be an obedient girl
and distrust her natural self

Samantha’s a woman but still a child
she feels the changes within
Soon she discovers no celebration
for the woman she is
She learns that her legs aren’t for running no more
but for men to be running their hands on

And she learns at a young age not to reach out
She learns to hold in desire
And she learns to be an obedient girl
and distrust her natural self
And she’s made to feel shame
She’s made to feel fear
She’s made to feel that she isn’t worth anything

And she learns at a young age to be something false
To alter her real woman’s body
And she learns to be an obedient girl
and dislike her natural self

An old woman’s standing down by the ocean
staring into the waves
Trying to recall a voice long ago
a child one with the sea
She was made to feel shame
She was made to feel fear
She was to feel weak
She was made to feel helpless
She’s made to feel that
she isn’t worth anything

And she learned at a young age
to be something false
To alter her real woman’s body
And she learned to be an obedient girl
and distrust her natural self
Track Name: Find You Near
Find You Near by marlene 1990

Still here after all these years
I wonder how it could be
Still here after all this time
through the winters of life
still find you near

I’m amazed we’re friends after so long
Could it be cause our understanding grows strong
Strong with time

Still here while others come and go
I wonder why it should be
Still here while others fail to see
that something inside the essence of me

I’m amazed we’re friends after so long
Could it be cause our understanding grows strong
Strong with time

Still here after all these years
I wonder how it could be
Still here after this all time
through the winters of life
I still find you near

Find you near

In honor of Martha Sauer Durey 1955-1998
Track Name: Wasn't That Way
IT WASN'T THAT WAY, 1990

The door opens wide, your arms at your side
as you greet me or say goodbye.
Not lost in your grin’s the truth sinkin in - you don’t wanna know.
But I am not hiding myself, cause I am alive
and I won’t participate in keeping the lies alive,
keeping the lies alive.

Your letter received speaks little to me
of the truth in your heart.
You include his name, the one who’s to blame, ignoring my pain.
But I won’t be silent no more, incest is the name
and I won’t participate in keeping the lies alive,
keeping the lies alive.

You offer forgiveness to the one who’s to blame
and anger for those who’ve suffered the pain
Can’t you see you’ve got it all backwards and then
Ignoring your duty, you share the blame.

A child running free you want to believe
when thinking of me
But it wasn’t that way, let it go now you say, just put it behind.
Can’t you see, it’s that belief, keeps secrets in shame
And I won’t participate in keeping the lies alive,
keeping the lies alive.

Cause it wasn’t the way, the storybooks say
It wasn’t that way, though you may pretend
and it wasn’t the way, oh it should be.
No one is more sorry
No one hid it harder
No one ran as fast as I did, as I did, as I did.

But I am not running no more, cause I am alive
and I won’t participate in keeping the lies alive,
keeping the lies alive.